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Details

Remember me? It’s been a lot of months! I don’t know where the time has gone, but I figured it was time I talk about where I’ve been and some other details.

The other week my sister dropped my niece of at BYU-Idaho and we met up with them while we were passing through Rexburg. As always, I reminisced about our time there. As of yesterday My Cowboy and I met nine years ago in Rexburg, during my second week of college. Nine years sure doesn’t seem like nine years.

Details from butterloveandcowboys.com

I was reminded of a few things about the weekend my parents dropped me off at college. I had known for years I wanted to attend BYU-Idaho and was excited to do so. But for months before heading off to start my young adult life, some stressful things happened and NOTHING WAS WORKING OUT! At BYU-I they have what is called a track system. They have this system to accommodate more students on campus than they would otherwise be able to. So once you are accepted, they send you a letter to assign you one of their three tracks- fall/winter, winter/spring, or fall/spring. Mine never got sent. It took months and hours of talking on the phone to get somebody who was authorized to give me the info. Next, my whole apartment/rooming situation got sticky-I was supposed to room with friends, it fell through, the manager had me switch rooms to accommodate another girl, and the confusion kept going! There were all these little things that continued to build up until I was stressed enough I was second guessing my choices.

I tried to remember I had already felt peace that I was doing the right things and going to the right place for me. One night, shortly after moving to Rexburg, I was wandering the gardens they have on campus. I found a bench that had a quote. It said, “Bloom where you’re planted”. That hit me and I remembered I had the choice to thrive where I was, regardless of setbacks. Then guess what? School started and something pretty great happened. All of those details that weren’t working out had a direct correlation to me meeting My Cowboy. You know, my future husband and the best part of my life! Without a doubt, God was directing me to him and that likely wouldn’t have happened had things worked out the way I wanted them to. And in retrospect, all of those details that seemed like such a big deal, were really insignificant.

Details from butterloveandcowboys.com

Remembering all of this the other week, gave me some me peace and assurance I needed to continue. God is in the details. It’s something I’ve always known, but have forgot to focus on recently. My load has felt heavy and I had been having a hard time coming to terms with it for a few months. I don’t usually have that problem, so it has really bothered me to feel this way. At the beginning of the year, I mentioned I had been having some health problems. Those health problems have escalated. And while my health is declining, we are grateful to finally have a diagnosis.

After years of doctors visits, followed by this year’s tests, surgery, then more tests, I have been diagnosed with a condition called gastroparesis. What this means is my body doesn’t digest food normally. It digests it extremely slow, meaning the food sits in my stomach for hours and possibly days longer than it should. While gastroparesis is different for everyone, and symptoms vary, what it looks like for me is nausea, severe abdominal pain, loss of appetite, bloating, numerous food sensitivities, weight loss, difficulty sleeping, and malnutrition.

As of the last five or six months, my quality of life has plummeted. Where the last few years, I have had to spend a few hours in bed each morning, now it is a lot more than that. Because of the nausea and abdominal pain, I generally have to spend at least 2-3 days a week in bed all day, and the other days, I can usually be up around 2-3 in the afternoon if I wait for the nausea to wear off. On days I have things going and can’t wait for the nausea to subside, it can be pretty miserable. Occasionally, I will have a better day and get can do with a couple less hours of rest. And some weeks are better while others are worse.

As far as treatment goes, there isn’t a whole lot that can be done for gastroparesis. There is no cure, only aids to help curb the condition. For now we are working on medications and dietary changes to hopefully improve my symptoms. Thus far, nothing has helped, and while we hope we will find something to aid me, I have had to come face to face with the fact that we may not and I have to be okay with that. My last weigh-in I was at 100 pounds exactly. Food is my enemy. I have to eat it to survive, I love food and am a foodie at heart, but now all foods make me sick. Consequences from what I eat, can be really severe. For years, I was able to keep a handle on my symptoms based off of food. I knew what to eat, what to avoid, what to eat sparingly. And while there are still many foods that make my symptoms worse than others, all foods contribute to them. I feel sick no matter what I eat.

Eating has always been more than just filling my body for me. It is an experience. And while this may sound funny coming from somebody who runs a dessert blog, (I also believe in treating yourself regularly :)) I am very passionate about health and fitness. It is extremely important to me and being told by doctors that I have to avoid some of the healthiest foods because they can make my condition worse has been a really, really hard thing for me to accept. My calorie intake is low, thus the weight loss. I have been sick for years now, but the fact that I am starting to look sick from the weight loss has made it more real. Another hard pill for me to swallow is exercise. Exercise is no longer the pleasure I used to find it. I try to keep up with it and am able to do some, but I generally feel worse after and it often does me in for the day. Because of low appetite, and low caloric intake, my energy level is a big struggle as well. Enough of those details. I hope you aren’t asleep by now, if you’ve even made it this far. I just didn’t know how else to set up the picture.

While all of these things have been and are a constant battle for me, I’m grateful for the knowledge that God is in the details. Maybe I don’t want to be sick everyday. I wish I could eat more pizza and cheese. I wish I could work out more. I wish I had the energy and felt good enough to do more with this blog. I wish I didn’t have to miss out on so much! I wish we weren’t getting set back even further on having babies. I wish I could weed my garden. I wish I could just get up at 6 am. and function! But the other week was a reminder that while things may not be working out the way I want, just like all those insignificant details causing frustration my first semester of college, I know if it is God’s will for me to be sick, He will use it for my benefit, regardless of the outcome, if I have faith and accept it. He is leading me and guiding me to a better future and blessings than I could ever possibly dream up on my own, having things go my way.

Ronald A. Rasband said, “Looking back, I realized I did not orchestrate any of those moves; the Lord did, just as He is orchestrating important moves for you and for those you love…allow Him to make more of you than you can make of yourself…treasure His involvement. Sometimes we consider changes in our plans as missteps on our journey…He is in the small details of your life as well as the major milestones.”

I am so grateful I can look back and see reminders of how God has guided me throughout my life. It is assuring and brings peace that I can’t find anywhere else. I am also grateful my situation is what it is. Many with gastroparesis are on a feeding tube, face frequent hospitalization, and suffer much more than I do. So, it is a struggle, but I am alive and am coping. And am trying to bloom where I’m planted, in the midst of sickness. Life is still good and there is always happiness and joy to be found along the journey. As I’ve written before- I’ve seen this in my life and the lives of those around me- whenever I am in the midst of something hard, there are more blessings than I can count and God always makes up the difference, even when the details aren’t part of our plans.

Ramblings

Mountains

Mountains are my favorite. I grew up in north central Montana. Not only did I have ample mountains available to feed my soul, but we had the northern Rocky Mountains close by. Let me tell you a little bit about the northern Rockies.

Mountains from butterloveandcowboys.com

They are rugged. They are steep. And they are breathtaking. We had really cold winters where I grew up. There was usually lots of cold and a whole lot of snow. Naturally, the higher in elevation you climb, the worse the conditions. Because of this, these Rocky Mountain peaks weather extremely harsh conditions each year.

Mountains from butterloveandcowboys.com

Jagged rocks, loose gravel, and uneven terrain can pull you down if you aren’t careful while hiking up in these mountains. Losing your footing is all too easy. You have to exercise caution by being smart, preparing for, and understanding your surroundings.

We kayak and swim the lakes, hike the trails, and of course treat ourselves to huckleberry ice cream. Plus their huckleberry ice cream has actual huckleberries, which is uncommon, because huckleberries cannot be grown domestically.

Yet somehow in these unfavorable conditions, huckleberries grow. The mountain sides have extremely lush and green vegetation. Both plants and animals flourish. Grizzly bears, black bears, wolves, moose, big horned sheep, and mountain goats are some of the larger animals that do well there. Somehow, they survive and even thrive. How is that possible given their harsh surroundings?

Mountains from butterloveandcowboys.com

I have been thinking a lot about these mountains today, because they remind me of the obstacles we all face in life. Everybody has them. And we all experience different ones. But, regardless of who we are, they come. Some days they can fill our lives with intense storms that have no end in sight and others we can step back and feel peace amidst surly surroundings. How can we find calm and stillness when there is so much stormy weather?

I think about this a lot. The year 2020 has presented some obstacles for me. My physical health has taken a dive and often my mental health follows. Sometimes when you look at all your trials combined, they can leave you feeling overwhelmed. I have found that writing is therapeutic for me so I hope this post can bring myself and others hope. I was asked a year ago to share my story and experiences. I committed to doing so and because I have found strength from other’s who share their stories, I know I need to do it too.

Mountains from butterloveandcowboys.com

My favorite book is The Book of Mormon. I have read it many times, but as we have studied it this year as part of our church curriculum called “Come Follow Me”, one family’s particular journey has stood out to me in ways it never has before. Following God’s command, this family crosses the desert, the wilderness, and the ocean to find a safe place to establish themselves. They face many sometimes seemingly insurmountable obstacles like hunger, thirst, fatigue, and death. Some of the family members spend their days complaining and rebelling against God, while others act courageously and exercise faith in God’s promises.

Family members on both sides of this equation traveled the same journey and faced many of the same obstacles, but their ability to not only survive, but also thrive had a direct relation to their trust in God. As these family members persevered, they were able to grow as individuals. The mountains they climbed refined them and they reached the top because of them.

Mountains from butterloveandcowboys.com

This is something that brings me hope and provides me with courage to keep on keeping on. As I lay in bed day after day while my body experiences pain, as that physical pain causes the mental illness to peak, as another year of life passes My Cowboy and I without bringing us a child, we are being refined. We are growing and changing. We are being tutored on how to become the people God wants us to be. Learning the lessons He wants to teach us is never easy. It can be really, really hard. But the amazing thing is how that those very lessons that leave us wondering how we will survive are the very things that teach us to not only survive, but thrive.

I keep thinking of mountain goats. Mountain goats literally live in the steepest, most dangerous part of the Rocky Mountain peaks. They hang out high up and climb crazy steep cliffs. It is so interesting to watch them. Think of a rocky, steep place no living animal would possibly go and you will find them climbing it. Why can they do this? Simply stated, their bodies are built for climbing. Their special hooves provide them with the traction they need to navigate the most dangerous of places. These animals are provided with what they need to climb the mountains on their paths.

Mountains from butterloveandcowboys.com

I have found the same to be true for me. Maybe my body is unwell, but I have the time and circumstances that allow me to rest. Perhaps my mental health causes severe bouts of depression and anxiety, but I have a husband and other loved ones who help me through it. Maybe I don’t have my own little ones to love and care for, but I have so many children in my life who share their love with me.

Mountain paths are filled with steep cliffs, unstable gravel, dips, deep ravines, and somehow we have to pass through them all to arrive at the top. Once we get there though, it is all worth it. The view is incredible.

I have to be honest, that view may not always come in this life for every mountain we climb. Answers to why we have to experience certain things may never become apparent, but the knowledge that God will help us bear our burdens, whatever they may be, brings perspective. Perspective brings peace. And peace helps us navigate the hard things with certainty. Certainty that it will all be worth it. None of our suffering is wasted. It is all for a purpose. And even when we don’t understand that purpose, God does. That is a really comforting thought considering He knows all.

Recently, My Cowboy and I watched a movie called “The Shack” for the first time. If you have never seen it, go watch it! The movie is so good and teaches a lot about life and how facing challenges can bring us closer to God if we let them. There is a scene in this movie where Sam Worthington is in a row boat on a lake. As he is rowing, the water turns black, then suddenly the row boat gets a hole and begins to fill with this black water. Terror overtakes him and he begins to panic. Once this happens, Jesus comes to him.

He tells Him to, “Look at me. Don’t think about the past. Don’t think about the pain. Look at me. Trust me. Just keep your eyes on me. I’m not going anywhere.” The black water symbolized the pain and terror the character had faced. It was causing him to sink and consuming his life. As he set his sights to Jesus, the water returns to its original state and the hole is stopped. This scene teaches that the Savior is always with us. He is there when we don’t know where to go. He is there when we suffer, when we are confused, when others hurt us. He felt that pain Himself so he knows how to help us through it. All we have to do is keep our eyes on Him and let Him in. It is a beautiful message.

Mountains from butterloveandcowboys.com

When we are spent, when our strength is gone, when we don’t know how to press forward, He is aware of us in that moment, in every moment before, and every moment after. When bad things happen to us, He is there. His ability to take our hand and help carry our burdens is amazing, but we have to let Him.

Maybe your mountains are seeming a little too rugged and high right now. Some days are full of rocky patches, and sometimes we even might slip and fall a ways down them. Days when we can just sit by the lake and bask in the beauty and sun that surrounds us come too though. No matter what a day may hold, we can be certain there is always hope. We can trust in the hope that while the climb is never easy it is so worth it.

Ramblings

Pictures and Life

I always have nostalgic tendencies this time of year. Then again, I tend to live life with them. But the particular memories that invoke the emotions I am referring to in this instance relate to when My Cowboy rode into my life.

Pictures and Life from butterloveandcowboys.com

Mid-September is our “meet-aversary” and this year it hit us with an eight year marker. I don’t know how that is possible, but apparently it is. Time passes so swiftly and I realize I still like to think of myself as a nineteen-year-old new bride, but an irritating fact in the back of my mind reminds me that I am significantly closer to thirty than I am to nineteen.

Even though I am still pretty darn young, I am not even near ready to believe those first years of adulthood are such a ways behind me. A month after that fateful night on the dance floor where My Cowboy and I shared our first dance, we shared our first date, and six months after that I officially became his little lady in the permanent fixture of marriage.

Pictures and Life from butterloveandcowboys.com

Along with all of these happy memories of the past, I decided it was high time we had new pictures this fall. My Cowboy’s cousin, who just happened to be our engagement and wedding photographer, once again captured, not just photos, but us. So I wanted to share. And I wanted to talk about life, because pictures and life definitely coincide. And while these pictures are beautiful, they aren’t necessarily the ones we thought we would be posing for eight years ago.

Pictures and Life from butterloveandcowboys.com

Life is a wonderful, yet strange thing, isn’t it? Just when you think you know what form your picture will take, it leads you onto paths along the way that are significantly different than any setup you had planned. This can be hard. It is hard. Sometimes, it is really, really hard.

Like I said, these pictures aren’t the ones I would have guessed we would be taking eight years later. We both planned that they would include more. More of us. An expansion of us. Life didn’t quite set up the scene the way we imagined. Eight years later, there are still only two of us. Our anticipated plans included maybe three, maybe four little ones by now, with more to come. That photo still has some time to develop. We hope it will, but even if it doesn’t take the form we plan, we will embrace it with God’s help.

Pictures and Life from butterloveandcowboys.com

My Cowboy has a great job that he loves. Believe it or not, we also live in the area we planned, but we both thought work would shift us towards standing in a different field than we are in are now. My Cowboy is a cowboy through and through though, so he is used to the unexpected changes of the range. The heavy shifts in the wind, the quickly brewing storm, the pleasant sunset that reminds you how to find peace and happiness amidst all of those changes. And also the reminder that sometimes God prepares you to take a different direction than you ever planned.

Pictures and Life from butterloveandcowboys.com

That smile. My smile. It is genuine because I am happy. The depth of the love I have for My Cowboy is more fulfilling than I had the capacity to comprehend as a new bride. I knew back then it would be good, but just how good time has told and will continue to tell. This picture portrays that, even though it is more difficult for a picture to depict what lies behind a smile. Behind that smile, in the deep, hidden parts of my mind have come struggles I always knew were present, but never could have known would be so far-reaching that no camera could possibly ever accurately portray them.

Mental illness has afflicted me since I was in grade school. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder raided my mind in ways that would some days, some weeks, and some months, leave me broken. But as life carries on, God teaches us to cope. As I entered adulthood, I had no way of knowing my worst fronts with mental illness were ahead of me and not behind.

My early twenties reworked our picture to include even more severe mental illness behind my smile. Depression and anxiety left me significantly more broken and lost than even OCD did. Life frequently felt void of light, though I try my hardest to cling to light. That smile became less frequent, but still it held on, thanks to God and My Cowboy. The debilitating darkness that clouded my mind changed our picture forever. No longer was that smile usually the truth. At times, it was a mechanism used to hide the pain, the darkness, the stress, and save me from stigmas pronounced by those who may not understand.

Pictures and Life from butterloveandcowboys.com

Behind the smiles you see here are two people who have had to face mental illness head on. Me, being the direct sufferer, and My Cowboy being the caregiver. Stress and worry were his companion through this unexpected shift in our story just as depression and anxiety were and still often are my overbearing partners. Included in these smiles here is an even deeper understanding of one another. And that is a picture that we are proud of.

Waves of depression and anxiety surface unexpectedly. Sometimes we may know certain circumstances we face with trigger them, but regardless of what any given day looks like, they may come. One such wave afflicted me today. A wave of sadness and hopelessness. And I felt that though I had no desire to and did not feel like I had the energy in me, I needed something good to come out of this wave. That is why I am sharing this post today. I have intended to share some of these thoughts for a while, but felt that today was the day. Whether it was for my own healing or somebody else’s, I pray it will touch anyone who may need it.

Pictures and Life from butterloveandcowboys.com

Pictures and life are different for everyone. Have any of your pictures developed just the way you thought they would? My assumption is your answer is no, just like mine, but that is a guess :). I think what makes all the difference with pictures and life is the lighting. Any photographer knows that good lighting is crucial to quality photos. Sometimes the outdoors readily present the perfect lighting for us and sometimes we have to work with poor lighting through changing camera settings or other means. There are times when achieving that desired light is filled with unforeseen obstacles.

Regardless, photographers work to create that light. I have found life to be similar. Sometimes the perfect light is easily available and sometimes we have to work a little, or a lot harder to create it. At times, light can be really difficult to come by. Life can overcast us with unexpected storms that hinder our ability to see and grasp light. Fortunately dark days always come to an end. And though it may not always be apparent, dark days have their blessings too. Like the way the light shines out even more brilliantly when we persevere through any dimness we may face. Once we have done that, a greater appreciation for light surfaces.

Pictures and Life from butterloveandcowboys.com

While these photos aren’t exactly how we pictured our life to be, they depict us. They share our story. Finding the best lighting hasn’t happened every day for us. But we are glad these pictures are proof that we are finding it. We aren’t perfect and we don’t always wear these smiles. But we are finding happiness and richness in life through the light God grants us to see properly the blessings that surround us. Pictures and life gave me some insight today. I hope and pray if needed, they will give you some too.

Since this is the season of gratitude, I want to express how immeasurably grateful I am for all that God blesses me with, and today especially, that He always blesses me with the light I need to accept the pictures that take form in my life. Because He knows what I need to create the picture of who He wants me to be.

Ramblings

The Hunt

So there are a lot of hunts this time of year. The hunt I am thinking of is one of my favorites though. It is not just any hunt it is the hunt. This hunt happens at various times throughout November and December for different families, but for us, the hunt happens as soon as possible after the Thanksgiving holiday. I usually count it as part of our Thanksgiving celebration really.

The Hunt from butterloveandcowboys.com

Have you guessed what the hunt is that I’m referring to yet? Tromping through the snow, trees, mountains, forest? It’s that time of year for the Christmas tree hunt! We spent Thanksgiving at the ranch this year with My Cowboy’s family so four out of the five couples, including us, went to search out our Christmas trees from a canyon nearby.

The Hunt from butterloveandcowboys.com

The climbing.

This little cowboy even brought his sled to help carry his tree down the mountain.

The Hunt from butterloveandcowboys.com

Of course there were some snowball fights.

The Hunt from butterloveandcowboys.com

We raise self-sufficient cowboys around here. This little cowboy chopped down his own tree for his own room.

The Hunt from butterloveandcowboys.com

We found one!

The Hunt from butterloveandcowboys.com

This is why we love Katelyn.

The Hunt from butterloveandcowboys.com

One of the best parts of Christmas and other holidays to me is tradition. Traditions bring us together in a special way, especially families. I am grateful for the traditions my family had growing up and for the sweet memories I can look back on from those times. I am also grateful for the traditions My Cowboy and I have and the ways they bond us. My grandpa passed away earlier this month so I have been feeling especially nostalgic. Reminiscing on traditions from my childhood and those that we have formed or carried on into my adulthood, has been a way to keep loved ones close, including those who have passed on.

I have officially finished decking our halls now that the Christmas tree is up. Merry Christmas season to all of you! I feel so blessed each year as we celebrate the Savior’s coming into the world and marvel at His selfless life and sacrifice on behalf of each of us. I sincerely hope your Christmas is merry and that the true Reason we celebrate this season brings peace to your neighborhoods, homes, and families.

Ramblings

A Cowboy Wedding Tradition

As I mentioned in my most recent post, My Cowboy’s brother and his bride tied the knot this month. He is the youngest cowboy in the family and the final brother to take the plunge. For the rest of us ladies, this means our bride tribe is complete. No more being outnumbered by boys in this family.

It was a beautiful day and we couldn’t be happier for the newest couple in our family. It is so refreshing to witness two people so in love start their life together as husband and wife. For more thoughts on that topic, click here. Now that all the cowboys have claimed their brides, I can share something I’ve been wanting to share for a while without spoiling any surprises for future sisters.

I am all about traditions. I love them. They can be especially meaningful and unifying when shared in our families. Plus they can be super fun. I love fun. This tradition just might be one of the most fun wedding traditions I have ever encountered. The nature of this tradition totally suits these cowboys too. What’s more western than a kidnapping? In our family, each bride has been kidnapped and held for ransom on their wedding day.

This is my kidnapping on our wedding day. Fortunately, our photographer captured it all.

Wedding Tradition from butterloveandcowboys.com

Oh and no worries, because we always wait to kidnap until after the ceremony has been performed. Kidnapping the bride before then would just be mean. The kidnapping generally takes place during the luncheon, after the bride and groom have finished their meal. In our case, it happened while we were thanking our guests for coming.

Wedding Tradition from butterloveandcowboys.com

I love that unsurprised look on My Cowboy’s face.

Wedding Tradition from butterloveandcowboys.com

Wait, what? Where are you taking me?

Wedding Tradition from butterloveandcowboys.com

So what happens after the bride has been taken hostage by the cowboys? The boys leave a ransom note which is read aloud to the luncheon guests. In that ransom note, they generally require the groom to beg, plead, sing, or all of the above, for the money to get his bride back. The boys then head towards the nearest store with the bride (Wal-Mart preferred). Soon after, the sisters-in-law bring the groom once he has gathered the ransom money required. Here is an example of a ransom note, from another brother’s wedding a few years ago.

Wedding Traditions from butterloveandcowboys.com

(Back to my kidnapping photos)

My Cowboy was required to procure a wheel barrow to push me around the store. Unfortunately/fortunately, the grocery store we shopped at didn’t have any wheel barrows! So he had to visit the neighboring store and barter with them to borrow their wheel barrow. To prove he wouldn’t steal it and would return it when he was done, he had to give up his car keys :D.

Wedding Tradition from butterloveandcowboys.com

Once the mode of transportation for the groom to push his bride is procured, they are given a shopping list. This is where the money the groom gathered comes in. The groom then wheels his bride around the store (preferably wedding dress clad) as they search for each item on the list. You know, items needed for a wedding night. If the money they gathered isn’t enough, then they beg some more, this time to complete strangers in the store.

Wedding Tradition from butterloveandcowboys.com

Honestly, one of the best parts of this whole ordeal are the looks strangers give the bride and groom. Some offer congratulations, some look confused, some appear annoyed, and some are pleased. One lady even commented, rather unkindly on the bride’s wedding dress. Fortunately however, most onlookers are plain amused! It all adds to the enjoyment we take in this tradition.

Wedding Tradition from butterloveandcowboys.com

Another kidnapping I took a few pictures of. I always thought the cardboard sign was a nice touch. Especially outside of Wal-Mart!

Wedding Tradition from butterloveandcowboys.com

What made our most recent kidnapping even better was when we discovered the grocery store didn’t have pregnancy tests out on the shelves. The groom had to push his bride in her shopping cart up to the pharmacy and ask for one. Other wedding night valuables were also nowhere to be found on the shelves. Where would they be? Behind the counter, with the cigarettes. Red-faced, the groom wheeled his bride up to that counter and inquired after the items needed. Fortunately, the youngest cowboy in the family was the best sport. He was definitely the most willing of all the brothers to do everything we asked.

This tradition really is so fun. I find it one of the best parts of the wedding day!

Does your family have a fun wedding tradition? I’d love to hear about it!

Ramblings

Kittens for Cache

Our outdoor brood expanded by two a few weeks ago. It may seem a little unorthodox, but we brought home two little kittens for our dog, Cache. Remember Cache? It’s been over a year since I shared his puppy photos. You can read about him here. He is your typical crazy hyper border collie, but we love him. And fortunately he is finally overcoming his fear of cows!

Kittens for Cache from butterloveandcowboys.com

So let my tell you all about why we decided Cache needed a kitten. Last fourth of July, we were enjoying the parade in town with my sister and her family. As we were sitting, a black kitten came wandering down the sidewalk. He was cute, but completely malnourished! He was a rack of bones and looked a bit rough. My sister’s kids played with him and wanted to take him home to our house, since it was obvious nobody was feeding or caring for him.

Enter Salem.

I really don’t care much for cats. I love kittens, but cats are cats. They really can be such selfish, disloyal creatures, but Salem was different. I imagine it was partially the fact that we saved his life as we nourished him back to health. I think he knew and appreciated it. He really was such a sweet kitty! Salem loved to be held and snuggled, he didn’t paw or scratch. And the best part about this whole ordeal was he and Cache became the best of pals. They loved each other. A lot. Cache would lick Salem’s face until it was sopping wet and Salem loved it. We would often find them curled up together on Cache’s doggy bed outside.

Cache started spending way less time with the other dogs around the ranch and hung out up at our house much more. It was so funny to see these two unlikeliest of pals, but pals the became and pals they remained until one day, Salem was nowhere to be found :(. We looked and looked, but he remains unaccounted for to this day. Cache lost his best friend and I’m convinced we lost the nicest cat in the world.

Kittens for Cache from butterloveandcowboys.com

Fast forward to this spring, when we decided it was time to find another pal for Cache. My sister and her kids had been staying with us and she found a listing for kittens nearby so we went and checked them out. Enter Salem (the second) and Merlin. I never had any intention whatsoever of bringing home two kittens, bur when I saw them I just couldn’t help myself. Another full black kitten, just like our first Salem was what I wanted. So we pulled out a black kitten and then I caught sight of the most adorable black and white splotched kittens I had ever seen. I told my sister I just had to have one of them too.

Really, who could say no to that face?

Kittens for Cache from butterloveandcowboys.com

Ya, not me. My Cowboy pretended he didn’t approve when I came home with two kittens, instead of one, but he is totally full of it. Who did he smuggle in the house for company while he watched a nighttime movie while I was out of town a couple weeks ago? You know, the kittens. Salem is the black kitten. Merlin is the black and white kitten. And yes, this picture is totally characteristic of Salem. He is kinda feisty! Merlin is more laid back and content to snuggle. He purrs super loudly and begins to do so instantly upon being picked up or petted.

Kittens for Cache from butterloveandcowboys.com

Since my sister and her kids were around a few weeks, these kittens received plenty of love and snuggles as they adjusted to their new home. Kittens were a big part of our childhood. When you live in the country, it isn’t uncommon for cats to hole up somewhere remote on your property and favor you with a litter of kittens. This happened at our place a lot. We didn’t keep many of them, but we often had kittens to snuggle and hold so it was something we often did together as sisters! You know, while the brothers made evil, snarky comments about drowning them or some other nonsense to make this baby girl of the family fear for the kitties lives.

Boys are so mean! Not this boy though, he loves the kittens.

And that face. I love it.

Kittens for Cache from butterloveandcowboys.com

So this picture is totally almost the exact same as a few others but I had to share it because, doesn’t Merlin’s face look evil? That was how he looked when I first saw him too. I thought he looked evil and the previous owner called him Cruella de Vil. Looks can be deceiving though, because he is pretty sweet and most definitely the nicest of the two!

Kittens for Cache from butterloveandcowboys.com

Salem on the other hand…

Kittens for Cache from butterloveandcowboys.com

You know it, you need some kittens too.

I may not like cats much when they grow up, but they kill mice and mice are my enemy, so I am happy to have one or two around. Now I think I’ll go find my kittens and snuggle.

xoxo,

Hannah

Ramblings

Six Years For My Cowboy and His Bride

Six years ago today I woke up very early in Logan, Utah. I did all the things you imagine a girl to do the morning of her wedding day. I powdered my nose, primped, used plenty of mascara, primped some more, and left my hair to a professional.

My Dad drove me to the hair appointment. I still remember that early drive with the beautiful view of the Cache Valley mountains as we descended from the hill where my Dad’s close friend lived, who my family all stayed with the night before the big day. I really don’t remember what we talked about. Maybe that’s a little sad, I’m sure as father and daughter we talked about the big day ahead of me, but all I know is we were together and that made it special.

Six Years from butterloveandcowboys.com

My Cowboy picked me up from the hair appointment and together we drove to the Logan Temple. There we met our parents and appropriately prepared for the biggest thirty minutes of our lives. He may have seen my hair and make-up before the ceremony, but he didn’t catch so much as a glimpse of my dress until just moments before we became husband and wife.

In those moments he stepped on my dress, and a loud “crrrrch” sound followed. Fortunately it was the puffy slip underneath. Don’t worry folks, all he ripped was my slip.

Six Years from butterloveandcowboys.com

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we perform temple wedding ceremonies, called sealings. They are short, sweet, and beautiful. Ours was no exception. I tried so hard to hang onto every word that was said, but can really only remember a few phrases here and there. Regardless, I certainly felt the solemnity of the promises we made to one another and to God as the two of us started on our journey of becoming one.

It is hard to wrap my head around the fact that this day was six years ago.

I know six years is so short compared to the lifetime and beyond we have together, but I still sit here in disbelief of how fast time speeds by.

Six Years from butterloveandcowboys.com

These have been six full years- six years full of innumerable good things that have come our way. Along with those good things has been some sorrow, testing, much happiness, and a lot of growth. Together, these things have served as strengthening forces for the foundation of our marriage.

I am grateful for the ways the last six years have shaped us and I look forward to the years together that will continue to do so as time marches on. The last seven months found me in a place emotionally that I had to cling to my spouse in a way I have never had to before. I have always relied on My Cowboy and will continue to do so, because it is part of sharing your life with someone, but the depth at which I had to rely on him changed. It was hard- hard for both of us.

Hard is good. Hard passes and sometimes there is a little reprieve. Then eventually more hard comes. I learned there is nobody I would rather share the hard with than this cowboy.

Six Years from butterloveandcowboys.com

I love My Cowboy and am so grateful our paths crossed six-in-a-half years ago. We met when I was eighteen and were married six months later when I was nineteen. I don’t know why I was blessed to find him when I was so young, but there is no doubt in my mind God intended it to be that way. We have a lot of similarities, similar backgrounds, similar interests, and we also have some differences.

All in all, I knew from the start we were a good match and as time passes that truth unfolds more and more clearly to me.

Six Years from butterloveandcowboys.com

Here’s to six years!

PS. I just had to share this last photo, because it has a lot of great faces.

Six Years from butterloveandcowboys.com

Ramblings

Back In the Saddle Again

It’s March and the last recipe I shared was a Christmas treat. Gah! Life has slowed down a bit and I am here to report that I am happy be back in the saddle again. First, I feel the need to do a little explaining for my hiatus. In mid-December we bought a house! As if the holidays aren’t crazy enough, we spent all of our down-time from then until the beginning of February, painting each room, each baseboard, each piece of trim, and closets! Painting closets may have been the death of me if it weren’t for my angel of a sister coming to help me out.

Along with that, came a few other projects, the most noteworthy being re-staining/painting all the bathroom and kitchen cupboards. I learned THAT is not a project for the faint of heart. After that, we, still had to, you know, pack up and move our stuff from the old house to the new one. After a few weeks, we are finally settled into our, new to us, neck of the woods and are loving it! We are grateful for the space we have and the comfort and rest a home provides from day to day.

While I may have taken some time off from blogging, I have not taken time off from baking and my kitchen has been as busy as ever. I am currently working on my next recipe for ya! It should be live on the blog in the next day or two. Can anybody say cheesecake?!

Back in the saddle again from butterloveandcowboys.com

Playing off my metaphorical comparison of being back in the saddle to getting my tail end in gear in regards to blogging, I decided a picture of me in the saddle would do for this post. However, sometimes you find as the girl behind the camera, photos of yourself are in short supply. It was slim pickings, but I found this gem from 2 1/2 years ago. My Cowboy took it along with five or six similar ones. My eyes were closed or squinting, something awful, in about every single one. So pardon my silly face, but I really was having fun. It was bright that afternoon!

Getting back in the saddle after a long break does have some challenges though. Like a sore keister, the first few photos I edited for ya’ll were a little painful. My under-worked Photoshop muscles struggled, and parts of my regular editing process just wouldn’t come back to me! As I re-familiarized myself with the program, inspiration came and I think I have it down again :). Be sure to check back soon for a new recipe!

Helpful Hint: If you type in your email address and hit subscribe in the right-hand column, you will never miss a recipe :)!

xoxo,

Hannah

Ramblings

Fall Pastures

As 2017 draws nearer to a close, I feel like time continually marches on faster than I can wrap my head around. Our summer blasted by and while I was able to share some of our adventures from the warmer months, I still haven’t written even half of the things I planned to. I am torn between sharing those stories and moving forward. I decided, at least for today, that I better move forward with our fall before it is as much a blur of the past as our summer. I adore fall and October is probably the only month of the year I love almost as much as December. The fall pastures here are especially beautiful in September-October as they are filled with weaned calves until they ship out the first week of November.

Speckles of black sprinkle the green-turning-brown fields. Juniper and sagebrush covered mountains, filled in with golden fall hues serve as a backdrop. The vista is finished off with panoramic skies of blue, or depending on the time of day, vibrant shades of pink and purple. I always enjoy this inspiring sight from this ranch’s fall pastures.

Fall Pastures from butterloveandcowboys.com

During those first weeks of the weaning process, bellering calves sing their song all day and all night. This sound is music to My Cowboy’s ears and he would be happy as a clam to sleep with the windows open those nights. Unfortunately, he and his wife have different tastes when it comes to certain genres of music. And no, I do not consider the bellering of weaning calves part of the country music genre. At least not without adding a little steel guitar and harmonization (from the humans).

Fall Pastures from butterloveandcowboys.com

It may take a couple weeks adjusting to life without mama, but I truly believe these babies become some of the happiest, most content, and fattest creatures on the earth as they graze the year’s final crop. The fall pastures around here treat them well.

BTW…have I ever mentioned how much I love beef? What’s your favorite cut? I love a pot roast, a T-bone sure is tender, and cube steaks sure can be made up mighty fine, BUT, personally, I could eat ground beef browned up with anything for dinner almost every meaty dish I eat 🙂

Fall pastures sure are a beautiful thing and I hope you enjoyed a little insight into ours.

Ramblings

A Cowboy and His Bride

As a blogger, you continually have ideas of future posts running through your thoughts. We always hope to be creating material that interests our readers and keeps them coming back. I tend to categorize my ideas in regards to priority. Some posts I know I will eventually write and aren’t time sensitive, so those get put on the back burner, so to speak, usually until I get just the right photos to go along with the words. Other ideas are totally time sensitive, as in perhaps an event that only happens once. I am good at prioritizing writing those right away. Usually. However, there is one event we had in September that I completely forgot to write about- a day all about a cowboy and his bride!

My Cowboy’s younger brother and his little lady were married last month and I had the pleasure of helping out with some of the photography. This is the first time I have had anything to do with a wedding shoot. I was a little scared, but really had a blast! Fortunately this cowboy and his bride were so darn easy to work with.

When it comes to being young and in love, a couple doesn’t even need all that much direction from the photographer. The kisses, the tender touch, the love that permeates their glances, and that warm glow from a happy bride- it just comes natural.

Being present with a cowboy and his bride who are so freshly in love rekindles within me my own sweet memories, memories from when My Cowboy took me to be his bride. I was so totally and completely in love with him then, but once you begin to progress through life as a married couple, solely committed to one another and God, you begin to feel and understand a deeper kind of love. As years pass and life continues on, you pass through the exhilarating highs, coupled with the inescapable lows-together.

I’ve found periodically reminiscing on where it all began can bring needed perspective for moving forward. It always brings me an appreciation for how our story began and of the fulfillment our marriage has brought me. I am also reminded of how important it is to continue the ride we started, the way we started it- together.

A Cowboy and His Bride from butterloveandcowboys.com

The women in our family are just happy as can be to have this lady for a sister! When you marry into a family of all boys, the additional girl power brought with each of our cowboy’s new brides has been especially exciting. She even entrusted me with the task of making her bouquet. I have a horticulture degree, with special attention to floral design, and a fresh flower bridal bouquet just happens to be my number one favorite thing to design. So naturally, I said heck yes.

A Cowboy and His Bride from butterloveandcowboys.com

I wish I could say I posed them myself for these next two photos, but this was one of those ultra sweet “it just comes natural” moments I was telling you about. One moment I was thinking how to pose them and the next thing I knew, the groom scooped up his bride and started twirling her in circles. Swoon sigh…

A Cowboy and His Bride from butterloveandcowboys.com

We are so happy for this cowboy and his bride. Love is sweet. I am extremely grateful for My Cowboy and the blessing it is to be his bride and the opportunity we have each day to share the ride together.

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